Scraps from a Dwarven Cookbook

I've come to realize that most of the RPG related ideas I come up with end up shuffled away to some forgotten corner of Quora, never to be seen again.  So, to collect them all in one place for easier reference, a few of those I liked better are getting transferred here.

If you found an ancient Dwarven cookbook in a long forgotten ruins in Dungeons and Dragons, what recipes might you find?

Recipes and cooking advice found in dwarven cookbooks tends to fall into one or more of the following categories:

  • References to rare monsters (ones not listed in the MM, or listed by an untranslated dwarven name), but only described in detail as to how to gut and cook them. Might mention poison glands or horns or such, but not always directly helpful in identifying how to combat the thing.
  • References to some highly prized ingredient (like Silphium) which was key for so many things, ultra healthy and made everything better, but which can no longer be identified. May not exist anymore or is super rare.
  • Some other, more common, ingredient you normally use only rarely or in moderation, but the dwarf recipes seem to put it in everything. Maybe genius, maybe disgusting.
  • A lot of really mundane foods that you can cook in a big batch, in a hurry so you can get back to work. All either too salty or fairly tasteless and unappetizing, but tend not to go bad.
  • Recipes for when normal food runs out (rotten egg souffle, rancid chicken marinated in lye, rind jerky, beard bread, fried hat, engine grease puddin', Pica's Delight, chewing copper, etc.).
  • Every possible way to ferment beer.

Comments

  1. After peeking at your Quora ... yes, you need to repost more of those here!

    I love the first two, because they feel very real to history. Like all those books we know about because someone listed every book in their collection, possibly with brief commentary or review, but a woefully incomplete description. (Are there also texts that we know about only because other authors "cite" them? Like, imagine if several Greek authors referred to Homer's masterpieces, The Odyssey, The Iliad, and idk, The Omicron. We only have text for the first two, but everyone from a certain time period mentions the third in their praise for Homer's genius.)

    For some reason, the "ingredient you use only rarely or in moderation" has me imagining dwarves enjoying slabs of Himalayan pink salt like they're thick cuts of steak.

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    Replies
    1. Yes! I love those lost texts. The Old Testament mentions once or twice something written in the "Book of Jasher". No one's ever seen the Book of Jasher.

      I was kind of inspired by ancient Rome for the special ingredients.

      With the ingredient used in moderation I was thinking something pungent like fermented fish sauce. Garum. We use a little sardine in Cesar dressing and Worcestershire sauce, but allegedly ancient Roman's LOVED fermented fish sauce.

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    2. Now I'm imagining the dwarves toasting goblets of fermented fish sauce over their pink salt slab steaks!

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    3. DWURF: *grumble* Too much salt on the steak.

      DVVARF: *grunt* Juss throw sum salt on er. 'll be fine.

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    4. I've been reading Steven Moore's "The Novel: An Alternative History" and I came across this mention of an interesting lost text:

      "The earliest Indian novel ["Brihatkatha" or "Long Story"] is no longer extant, but by all accounts it was a whopper, thousands of pages long and written in the language of goblins!"

      Apparently we only know about it because other authors described it.

      I also remembered this discover from earlier in the year. A manuscript cataloging Christopher Columbus's son's private library. The catalog is 2000 pages long, is about a foot thick, and of the roughly 15000 books described, apparently only a quarter still exist.

      https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/apr/10/extraordinary-500-year-old-library-catalogue-reveals-books-lost-to-time-libro-de-los-epitomes

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